The Goldberg File
by Jonah Goldberg
Dear Reader (particularly the shut-ins, obsessives, convicts, unrepentant practitioners of mopery, and masochists who will actually read this epic-length ranty “news”letter from beginning to end),
I have nothing but sympathy for those of you who are sick of my wasting the precious space of this “news”letter on Donald Trump. How you feel about Donald Trump and this “news”letter is how I feel about the raging Trumpster fire raging through my party and my country: Would that we could spare time to talk about something else.
I feel a bit like Malcolm McDowell in A Clockwork Orange. No one has strapped me to a chair or attached those metal scaffolds to my eyes to keep them open as I watch that oleaginous clump of non sequiturs sweat his insecurities on national television. But I still feel drained as I try to resist what feels like a kind of crowd-sourced brainwashing spread across the land like a wet rolling fog.
At times, I sometimes think I’m living in a weird remake of The Invasion of the Body Snatchers. If you’ve seen any of the umpteen versions, you know the pattern. Someone you know or love goes to sleep one night and appears the next day to be the exact same person you always knew. Except….
Except they’re different, somehow. They talk funny. They don’t care about the same things they used to. It’s almost like they became Canadian overnight — seemingly normal, but off in some way. Even once-friendly dogs start barking at them.
continued at NATIONAL REVIEW
reformated into a 5-page, two column printable Adobe PDF: The Goldberg File re Trumpaphilia